Creating a Secure Relationship

reality sandwiches

Relationships. Relationships. Relationships. Life seems to be full of them. In intimate relationships, how do we get really good at them? Lots of wonderful new study and science on attachment has some useful insights. Here are a couple of articles that I’ve blended for brevity and usefulness by Lon Rankin and Stan Tatkin. (First there’s an overview, and then there’s 10 helpful commandments. Italics are mine). “Every species of mammal uses the limbic system—the social, emotional, relational part of the brain—to create strong bonds that provide safety and a felt sense of security. Adult-child bonding is especially crucial for the development of the complex human brain and nervous system, and the development of an internal felt sense of security in the world—both real and perceived. When parents are too often inattentive of their child’s emotional needs, this bonding does not happen optimally, and the injury of insecurity can prevail.



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6 Things That All Quiet Over-thinkers Want You To Know

Thought Catalog


If you consider yourself to be more on the quiet side, there’s a good chance that you’re also intuitive. Quiet people like to observe, analyze, and arrive at conclusions based on the information they take in.

When the topic of quietness came up at a family dinner, my great-uncle actually made this comment about me: “To get words out of Sara, you need a corkscrew.”

It’s also often difficult for extroverted individuals to truly understand that even though our lips our sealed, our mind is swarming with thoughts.

Here are things that all quiet people with loud minds understand:

1. We might seem like we have nothing to contribute, but it’s because we’re carefully planning the words out in our head.

Quiet people are planners. Out of fear of potentially saying the wrong thing, we rarely speak without thinking. Rather than being uninterested in the particular topic, we want…

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